I think what a lot of people (including myself until recently) don't realize is that for some people, skiing is a part of their identity just as much as their name, or their personality. After repeatedly trying to pull myself away from skiing so I can turn my attention to music and school due to repeated pressure from my parents and teachers, I have discovered that it is not possible, and will never happen. As sure as my name is Matt, I am a a skier, and I always will be. Although I may love music, and really want to get a degree from a good university, skiing will always be top on my priority list. Will it clash with everything else I do? Possibly, but that doesn't matter a bit. Skiing is a part of me, and I will continue to do it for the rest of my life. I may be rich, I may be poor as fuck, I may be in some place completely different in the future years, but I will ALWAYS be skiing.
I love it, beyond all other things - my music, my school, my friends - all are dictated based on skiing. University selections? Skiing based. Time spent on weekends? Skiing based. Musical goals? Partly skiing based. Plans for next summer? Skiing based. Part-time job? Used to pay for skiing.
I may not ever be successful in skiing in any way, and I may plunge more money into this stupid, expensive, dangerous, ridiculous sport than I will ever get out of it, but like any real, dedicated skier, I have no choice. It is beyond my control, the best thing I can do is to enjoy it as much as possible, and just ride the wave.
For ever spot you wrote skiing and replace it with motorcycling and it reads perfectly for my life. Anyone who knows me, has been in my room, has talked to me for more than 20 minutes, has seen my shirtless, has seen my blog - they know what my passion is, what the biggest driving force is in my life. I have based every decision you stated on motorcycling. I can even recall one time (which got me a punch in the shoulder from dad) when Mom said "You love that motorcycle more than me don't you?" and when I should have said "NO!" I hesitated because I had to think about it.
ReplyDeleteI have had 36 plus motorcycles in 5 years, they have run me broke more than once, I have cracked myself up more than once, I have destroyed my health on them more than once... and right now ALL I can think about is "when will I get the XS400 running, and when can I pick up the XS500?"
Good post Matt, you nailed it, some people can skate through life bumping from thing to thing, some of us, some of us have one thing, one thing that drives us and evokes every sense of emotion... for you it is skiing, for me it is motorcycling.